The years seemed to have passed by quickly, my youngest child never had the chance to get to know him. My oldest child remembers him in glimpses. She sometimes asks what happened to her grandfather. I have never really told her why. She is too young to understand, all she needs to know is that it’s not because of her. There are some things that just happen between adults, mistakes made by both sides that you just can’t explain to a mind so young and innocent.
It hurt that he was missing out on so much, I was angry that he did not understand my reasons and angry that I did not understand his. But that anger has subsided.
Last night my world turned upside down. Right before supper I decided to check my email through my iPhone. Sitting there in my inbox, totally unexpected was an email from the last person I ever thought would email me, my father.
It was a simple message, there were messages sent to an address I no longer use. I replied saying just that. Tonight even bigger shock when he emailed me back with an email that I did not expect. His world has changed too since we last spoke almost three years ago.
Maybe this is a crossroad both of us need to meet eachother at and maybe resolve hurts from the past but try to move on and salvage whats left of this. He was reaching out, everybody has their own ways of doing so. I couldn’t ignore it, why? Why continue something that has gone off track. It’s time to take a new path. A new approach.
I’m glad he did. Maybe things will change for the better between he and I. It won’t be instant, far from it but an email is a start. I know in my heart I hope they do, if they don’t at least we can say we tried again.
Posted by — @AMotherhoodBlog
*All opinions on this blog are honest & my own*